I've never really had a strong desire to grow up. In fact, I often look at my youth with a profound sense of longing, wishing I could go back to the days when I didn't have to pay rent or electricity and when my biggest worry was whether or not I had a downward slope in my backyard for the slip n slide.
People have always told me I act just like a kid. I get excited about the dumbest stuff and today, when I opened my Happy Meal, I understood what they were saying.
First of all, who in the world doesn't get excited about a meal that has the word 'happy' in it? I know I sure do. So, I ordered my cheeseburger happy meal (sans onions) and my eyes wandered to the blessed area on the menu board where they display the featured happy meal toy. Gang, it was Hello Kitty. Now, there are few things in this world that I get excited about (lies) and Hello Kitty, well she's just right up there on my top ten list with glittery lip gloss and hot pink fingernail polish.
So, I pulled up, paid my money, received my meal of happiness and I'm sure you can guess what I did next. I opened up the bag and my eyes got real big and my mouth opened with excitement because there it was! Hello Kitty! I could have cared less about the food at that point and somewhere in the back of my head, I could hear a stern parental voice telling me that I wasn't allowed to play with my Hello Kitty until I had eaten at least half my hamburger and seven fries. I'm not even gonna tell you what I did when I found out there were Hello Kitty stickers inside my already fabulous Hello Kitty toy (let's just say there was grinning and clapping...)
So, I'm back at my grown up job now with Hello Kitty stickers placed in a very adult-like manner on the following surfaces: My keyboard, the doorknob to my door, my shirt, and the backs of each of my hands. And, I'm not gonna lie, there will probably be one on my face before the end of the day. Let's give it up to the Lord for Hello Kitty stickers.
Also, I just wanted to add that my roomate, being in complete understanding of my childlike mentality, made me pancakes last night that spelled "Katy." There was lots of grinning and clapping then, too.
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Two Movies NOT to Watch Before Bed...and How I Blew My Own Mind
I love my Netflix membership. I do. It allows me to peruse through a vast array of motion pictures and order whatever my little heart desires. Last week I was in this whole "I'm weird and arty and mysterious and into things that don't make sense" mood, so I ordered movies online accordingly. I had just finished watching Babel for a second time (very good movie), so I was looking for things that would make me think...what I got were things that made me question my faith in all that is good and true in this world. (slight dramatization)
Movie # 1: Dirty Pretty Things. I got this flick because it has the wonderful star of Amelie, Miss Audrey Tautou, in it. And it said 'suspense thriller' so I thought it would be cool. It was not cool. It wasn't even in the same category as cool. The first disturbing image was a toilet that was clogged by a human heart. I should have turned it off after that, but I didn't. Basically, it was about this underground organ harvesting ring in London. Illegal immigrants go to this hotel and a weirdo with a knife cuts them up and pays them for their organs by making fake identities for them. In the end, the hacker dude ends up getting HIS organs cut out of him. Ah, sweet justice...and, here Katy, how bout some sweet dreams.
Movie # 2: Little Children. I actually liked this movie for its complexity, but I definitely should have watched it before 9pm. Kate Winslet stars in it and she was nominated for an academy award for her role as a timeless homewrecker. Such elegance. Such poise. It starts out with this mother (Kate) who is the typical bored, monotonous housewife with a little girl and friends she will never fit in with. Enter dashing stay-at-home dad who brings excitement and 'joy' into her life. They begin this affair that, ironically, doesn't end in tragedy, but rather it ends with them developing an intense respect and understanding of the lives they had forsaken for each other. But, the disturbing part of the movie was the child molester they decided to throw in to, I don't know, jack with our minds a little more? His story is actually really really haunting. He is shunned by the town and is forced to live with his mother who eventually dies from all the stress that is put on her son's situation. She leaves him a final note when she is on her death bed and the note says "Please be a good boy." So, the guy goes crazy and, um, castrates himself. Enjoy!
But, it was after watching these two movies that I was left alone to ponder the meaning of life. Psh. Whatever. I was clearly in no state to ponder anything except why in the world I would put myself through such visual torture. Luckily, Carrie came in at about 1am and we discussed deep and meaningful things like boys and how much we like going to second base. Heheheh. Just kiding. However, while we were talking, I was reminded of something in "Little Children." While Kate and her cheat partner were in the Rated R throes of passion, she asked him if his wife was pretty. His response was 'Yes. She's a knockout.' This, obviously, made Kate self-conscious and insecure. Sensing her feelings, the cheater boy said "Beauty is overrated." He said this to her to make her feel better, but if you think about what a lie that statement really is, there's no way it could ever make anyone feel better. Because, simply, beauty is beautiful. True beauty, anyway.
So, for the rest of the movie, Kate's mood/hapiness depended entirely on what this man thought of her. And it made me realize that this is the great tragedy of relationships. Laying on my back in my bed, looking up at the ceiling fan, and talking with my roomate, this is how I blew my mind:
There's a reason why the happiness we find in others doesn't last. It's because we don't last. Humans. Mankind. We are finite. So, there comes a time when our words, our actions, our thoughts, reach a limit. And when that limit is reached we approach emptiness because there is no renewal of things that are finite. Finite ends. It dies. We end. We die. But, when that hope, that security, that happiness, is transferred to the Lord, it always fulfills and continues to fulfill because the Lord is infinite. He never ends, so the love that he gives keeps on renewing itself. And it isn't a replication. It's new every single time. It's like a cup full of water that just keeps getting water poured into it. Every drop is new water and it overflows and overflows and overflows into forever. It's the most beautiful, satisfying thing. It's like music and how David was never capable of communicating to the Lord in prose. He always communitcated to the Lord in song. Because words aren't enough. We have to make music in order to taste even a little bit of how much the Lord loves us. Music is the closest thing we have to expressing that infinitessimal and unconditional love. So, you know, go make some music today. And when you're done making music, thank the good ole Lord that you didn't watch the movies I watched last night. Thanks and have a good day. Um, bye.
Movie # 1: Dirty Pretty Things. I got this flick because it has the wonderful star of Amelie, Miss Audrey Tautou, in it. And it said 'suspense thriller' so I thought it would be cool. It was not cool. It wasn't even in the same category as cool. The first disturbing image was a toilet that was clogged by a human heart. I should have turned it off after that, but I didn't. Basically, it was about this underground organ harvesting ring in London. Illegal immigrants go to this hotel and a weirdo with a knife cuts them up and pays them for their organs by making fake identities for them. In the end, the hacker dude ends up getting HIS organs cut out of him. Ah, sweet justice...and, here Katy, how bout some sweet dreams.
Movie # 2: Little Children. I actually liked this movie for its complexity, but I definitely should have watched it before 9pm. Kate Winslet stars in it and she was nominated for an academy award for her role as a timeless homewrecker. Such elegance. Such poise. It starts out with this mother (Kate) who is the typical bored, monotonous housewife with a little girl and friends she will never fit in with. Enter dashing stay-at-home dad who brings excitement and 'joy' into her life. They begin this affair that, ironically, doesn't end in tragedy, but rather it ends with them developing an intense respect and understanding of the lives they had forsaken for each other. But, the disturbing part of the movie was the child molester they decided to throw in to, I don't know, jack with our minds a little more? His story is actually really really haunting. He is shunned by the town and is forced to live with his mother who eventually dies from all the stress that is put on her son's situation. She leaves him a final note when she is on her death bed and the note says "Please be a good boy." So, the guy goes crazy and, um, castrates himself. Enjoy!
But, it was after watching these two movies that I was left alone to ponder the meaning of life. Psh. Whatever. I was clearly in no state to ponder anything except why in the world I would put myself through such visual torture. Luckily, Carrie came in at about 1am and we discussed deep and meaningful things like boys and how much we like going to second base. Heheheh. Just kiding. However, while we were talking, I was reminded of something in "Little Children." While Kate and her cheat partner were in the Rated R throes of passion, she asked him if his wife was pretty. His response was 'Yes. She's a knockout.' This, obviously, made Kate self-conscious and insecure. Sensing her feelings, the cheater boy said "Beauty is overrated." He said this to her to make her feel better, but if you think about what a lie that statement really is, there's no way it could ever make anyone feel better. Because, simply, beauty is beautiful. True beauty, anyway.
So, for the rest of the movie, Kate's mood/hapiness depended entirely on what this man thought of her. And it made me realize that this is the great tragedy of relationships. Laying on my back in my bed, looking up at the ceiling fan, and talking with my roomate, this is how I blew my mind:
There's a reason why the happiness we find in others doesn't last. It's because we don't last. Humans. Mankind. We are finite. So, there comes a time when our words, our actions, our thoughts, reach a limit. And when that limit is reached we approach emptiness because there is no renewal of things that are finite. Finite ends. It dies. We end. We die. But, when that hope, that security, that happiness, is transferred to the Lord, it always fulfills and continues to fulfill because the Lord is infinite. He never ends, so the love that he gives keeps on renewing itself. And it isn't a replication. It's new every single time. It's like a cup full of water that just keeps getting water poured into it. Every drop is new water and it overflows and overflows and overflows into forever. It's the most beautiful, satisfying thing. It's like music and how David was never capable of communicating to the Lord in prose. He always communitcated to the Lord in song. Because words aren't enough. We have to make music in order to taste even a little bit of how much the Lord loves us. Music is the closest thing we have to expressing that infinitessimal and unconditional love. So, you know, go make some music today. And when you're done making music, thank the good ole Lord that you didn't watch the movies I watched last night. Thanks and have a good day. Um, bye.
Friday, May 11, 2007
Now Hiring: My Entourage
It’s come to my attention lately that I may or may not possess certain qualities that may or may not make me fabulous. Since being fabulous in our society generally means you are popular and beautiful and wealthy, I think it’s high time I start living my life according to these standards. So, I’m posting this announcement to encourage the application process for positions that will complete my celebrity entourage. I am currently hiring for the following positions:
Eyelash Technician: Those of you who have had the pleasure of seeing me in person know that I have the ability to fan a sweaty Greek god with my eyelashes. I often face the accusation that my eyelashes are fake. They are, in fact, real and sometimes quite a hassle. Therefore, the eyelash technician will be responsible for combing my eyelashes every 45 minutes, 15 times for each eye. The combing process will immediately be followed by a re-application of MAC’s Zoom Lash mascara, 15 strokes for each eye. The eyelash technician will also be responsible for maintaining ample amounts of said Zoom Lash mascara, as I’m sure to go through roughly 2 or 3 bottles a day.
Height Management Specialist: Given the fact that I’m just shy of 5’9”, it is very important that the position of Height Management Specialist be filled with someone who is eager to ensure that I am never in the presence of any member of the opposite sex who is shorter than me. If such a person enters my presence, the HMS’s responsibility will be to place that person on an elevated plain and/or provide them with shoe lifts. Likewise, this person will need to carry with them heels of varying heights so that I can change shoes at a moments notice depending on whose company I will be enjoying. Since most of my celebrity attire requires at least a 3 inch stiletto, the HMS’s main priority will be to weed out men who are not at least 6 feet tall (unless an elevated plain and/or the afore mentioned shoe lifts are within close proximity).
Spiritual Advisor(s): This position is really only available to two men. John Piper and Donald Miller. If you feel like you exemplify either one of these gentlemen’s spiritual prowess, then feel free to apply, but please be of the understanding that the interview process will be strenuous and will most likely take place in a bar. The John Piper-esque applicant will be required to challenge my spiritual discipline. I will need this person to encourage me in the practice of the following: fasting, praying, meditation, and community service. Similarly, the Donald Miller applicant for spiritual advisement will need to be eager to indulge my humanity, often encouraging me to drink beers with fellow Christians and occasionally taking me on long walks through various wooded areas to which my pilot, Fernando, will take us upon request.
Body Contact Coordinator: Those seeking employment in this position will be in charge of consistently making sure that my back gets scratched from the moment I wake up until the moment I fall asleep. This person should preferably not take up too much space, as my other glamour assistants will need to work fluidly around them. This person should also have a keen intuition as to when I would like the services to switch from scratching to massaging. In addition, my BCC will also be responsible for coordinating with the Height Management Specialist all other forms of bodily contact which may or may not become necessary with certain gentlemen who are 6 feet tall or more.
Eyelash Technician: Those of you who have had the pleasure of seeing me in person know that I have the ability to fan a sweaty Greek god with my eyelashes. I often face the accusation that my eyelashes are fake. They are, in fact, real and sometimes quite a hassle. Therefore, the eyelash technician will be responsible for combing my eyelashes every 45 minutes, 15 times for each eye. The combing process will immediately be followed by a re-application of MAC’s Zoom Lash mascara, 15 strokes for each eye. The eyelash technician will also be responsible for maintaining ample amounts of said Zoom Lash mascara, as I’m sure to go through roughly 2 or 3 bottles a day.
Height Management Specialist: Given the fact that I’m just shy of 5’9”, it is very important that the position of Height Management Specialist be filled with someone who is eager to ensure that I am never in the presence of any member of the opposite sex who is shorter than me. If such a person enters my presence, the HMS’s responsibility will be to place that person on an elevated plain and/or provide them with shoe lifts. Likewise, this person will need to carry with them heels of varying heights so that I can change shoes at a moments notice depending on whose company I will be enjoying. Since most of my celebrity attire requires at least a 3 inch stiletto, the HMS’s main priority will be to weed out men who are not at least 6 feet tall (unless an elevated plain and/or the afore mentioned shoe lifts are within close proximity).
Spiritual Advisor(s): This position is really only available to two men. John Piper and Donald Miller. If you feel like you exemplify either one of these gentlemen’s spiritual prowess, then feel free to apply, but please be of the understanding that the interview process will be strenuous and will most likely take place in a bar. The John Piper-esque applicant will be required to challenge my spiritual discipline. I will need this person to encourage me in the practice of the following: fasting, praying, meditation, and community service. Similarly, the Donald Miller applicant for spiritual advisement will need to be eager to indulge my humanity, often encouraging me to drink beers with fellow Christians and occasionally taking me on long walks through various wooded areas to which my pilot, Fernando, will take us upon request.
Body Contact Coordinator: Those seeking employment in this position will be in charge of consistently making sure that my back gets scratched from the moment I wake up until the moment I fall asleep. This person should preferably not take up too much space, as my other glamour assistants will need to work fluidly around them. This person should also have a keen intuition as to when I would like the services to switch from scratching to massaging. In addition, my BCC will also be responsible for coordinating with the Height Management Specialist all other forms of bodily contact which may or may not become necessary with certain gentlemen who are 6 feet tall or more.
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