Two Scoops of Lovin

It's impossible for me to be mad at anyone eating an ice cream cone. Am I alone in this? The other day, I was in traffic and some rude ho decided to cut me off. Well, I pulled around her and got ready to give her my mean, dirty, road rage face when I noticed she was enjoying a delightful soft serve. I immediately withdrew my ammo. What could I say or do to this woman that would pull her out of her child-like reverie? Nothing. And, frankly, at that point it didn't matter. I was already holding hands with her and skipping to the see-saw in my mind.

Maybe that's the answer. Maybe, in the future, when I decide to rob banks n stuff, I will always be sure to carry a double scoop of chocolate chip cookie dough (because, hello, that's the best). And when I'm waving my gun around in terror while simultaneously enjoying a famous American tradition, people will be more inclined to give me their money. And if they don't give me their money it will be all good in the hood because did I mention I will be eating ice cream?

And maybe the people working at Wal-Mart should eat ice cream cones all the time. Because I promise you I would be less inclined to yell at them if I knew their incompetence was being negated by the euphoria that could only be induced by a cold, delicious, creamy treat.

So, kids. If you are ever in a situation where you want to embark on a murderous rampage, due to anger or frustration toward an individual or an establishment, I highly recommend you picture said individual or establishment holding a swirly frozen yogurt cone from Braum's in their hand. I promise it will harvest peace in your chi.