I love my Netflix membership. I do. It allows me to peruse through a vast array of motion pictures and order whatever my little heart desires. Last week I was in this whole "I'm weird and arty and mysterious and into things that don't make sense" mood, so I ordered movies online accordingly. I had just finished watching Babel for a second time (very good movie), so I was looking for things that would make me think...what I got were things that made me question my faith in all that is good and true in this world. (slight dramatization)
Movie # 1: Dirty Pretty Things. I got this flick because it has the wonderful star of Amelie, Miss Audrey Tautou, in it. And it said 'suspense thriller' so I thought it would be cool. It was not cool. It wasn't even in the same category as cool. The first disturbing image was a toilet that was clogged by a human heart. I should have turned it off after that, but I didn't. Basically, it was about this underground organ harvesting ring in London. Illegal immigrants go to this hotel and a weirdo with a knife cuts them up and pays them for their organs by making fake identities for them. In the end, the hacker dude ends up getting HIS organs cut out of him. Ah, sweet justice...and, here Katy, how bout some sweet dreams.
Movie # 2: Little Children. I actually liked this movie for its complexity, but I definitely should have watched it before 9pm. Kate Winslet stars in it and she was nominated for an academy award for her role as a timeless homewrecker. Such elegance. Such poise. It starts out with this mother (Kate) who is the typical bored, monotonous housewife with a little girl and friends she will never fit in with. Enter dashing stay-at-home dad who brings excitement and 'joy' into her life. They begin this affair that, ironically, doesn't end in tragedy, but rather it ends with them developing an intense respect and understanding of the lives they had forsaken for each other. But, the disturbing part of the movie was the child molester they decided to throw in to, I don't know, jack with our minds a little more? His story is actually really really haunting. He is shunned by the town and is forced to live with his mother who eventually dies from all the stress that is put on her son's situation. She leaves him a final note when she is on her death bed and the note says "Please be a good boy." So, the guy goes crazy and, um, castrates himself. Enjoy!
But, it was after watching these two movies that I was left alone to ponder the meaning of life. Psh. Whatever. I was clearly in no state to ponder anything except why in the world I would put myself through such visual torture. Luckily, Carrie came in at about 1am and we discussed deep and meaningful things like boys and how much we like going to second base. Heheheh. Just kiding. However, while we were talking, I was reminded of something in "Little Children." While Kate and her cheat partner were in the Rated R throes of passion, she asked him if his wife was pretty. His response was 'Yes. She's a knockout.' This, obviously, made Kate self-conscious and insecure. Sensing her feelings, the cheater boy said "Beauty is overrated." He said this to her to make her feel better, but if you think about what a lie that statement really is, there's no way it could ever make anyone feel better. Because, simply, beauty is beautiful. True beauty, anyway.
So, for the rest of the movie, Kate's mood/hapiness depended entirely on what this man thought of her. And it made me realize that this is the great tragedy of relationships. Laying on my back in my bed, looking up at the ceiling fan, and talking with my roomate, this is how I blew my mind:
There's a reason why the happiness we find in others doesn't last. It's because we don't last. Humans. Mankind. We are finite. So, there comes a time when our words, our actions, our thoughts, reach a limit. And when that limit is reached we approach emptiness because there is no renewal of things that are finite. Finite ends. It dies. We end. We die. But, when that hope, that security, that happiness, is transferred to the Lord, it always fulfills and continues to fulfill because the Lord is infinite. He never ends, so the love that he gives keeps on renewing itself. And it isn't a replication. It's new every single time. It's like a cup full of water that just keeps getting water poured into it. Every drop is new water and it overflows and overflows and overflows into forever. It's the most beautiful, satisfying thing. It's like music and how David was never capable of communicating to the Lord in prose. He always communitcated to the Lord in song. Because words aren't enough. We have to make music in order to taste even a little bit of how much the Lord loves us. Music is the closest thing we have to expressing that infinitessimal and unconditional love. So, you know, go make some music today. And when you're done making music, thank the good ole Lord that you didn't watch the movies I watched last night. Thanks and have a good day. Um, bye.
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