Cox Cares

I was walking to my car the other day when I noticed a Cox van parked among a row of vehicles. What I also noticed was that this Cox van had orange cones all around it. Which brought to mind that I don't think I've ever seen a Cox van parked somewhere without orange cones around it. I'm so amused and perplexed by this. I mean, do they pull them aside in Cox Communications Van Driving School to explain to them that they are not allowed to park anywhere under any circumstances without putting orange cones next to each of their tires? And what if someone forgot their cones at home? Then what? Do they have to put their old McDonald's trash next to each tire or would a simple note on the windshield be sufficient: "I regret to inform all of you who are walking within viewing distance of this sign that I have unfortunately left my safety cones at the warehouse and now have no form of protection for my vehicle. Please don't steal anything out of this van and/or allow your car to come within six inches of any Cox Communications tire...but if you have to, I understand because it's my fault for forgetting the cones."

And do they still put the fearsome cones of warning next to their tires when they are, say, out in the middle of nowhere? When they step out of their van and hear rattlesnakes and see dust flying around, noone within a 20 mile radius, are those cones still a necessary agent of protection for their vehicles? It seems a little exaggerated to me, Mr. or Mrs. Cox. In fact, it really makes me want to pick all of those cones up and stack them on the hood of the van. And, if I were a boy and had the appropriate equipment and maneuverability, I would probably pee on your wheels.

The overuse of cone protetion by the Cox Communications Company vans reminds me a lot of this: