My New Favorite Thing

When I was a little girl, I took a variety of dance classes that ranged from tap and ballet when I was super young to gymnastics and jazz when I got older. I always thought I had a lot more skill than I actually did. But thank goodness I recognized that at an early age because, you see, now I KNOW how I look when I dance and I can take every sort of precautionary step to avoid having any one witness said embarrassment. However, all my efforts to keep my dancing prowess to myself shall not and will not limit my ability to sit back and observe those who unfortunately have not been warned of their inability to dazzle on the dance floor.

Now, there are a rare few people who can actually pull off public dancing. They fall into the following categories:

1. The "Who Cares" Dancer: I got to witness a WCD last week at Baker's Street. The gentleman (Jed was his name, I later found out) walked in and immediately set his body to the beat of the music. He did the typical confident, casual room promenade, pointing his fingers like a gun at the many people he recognized. I was immediately captivated by his suaveninity (made up word) and was even furtherly (another made up word) delighted when he got out on the dance floor. Friends, he was an acrobatic genius. His ability to grind up next to a chair has forever changed how I look at dining room sets, lawn furniture, and bar stools entirely. He was fabulous and I secretly hoped he would grab my hand and lead me into his world. But I'm pretty sure it was more fun from my angle.

2. The "Look at My Body" Dancer: Also known as the "I'm Gonna Dance With A Group Of Girls and Playfully Demonstrate What I Will Do With You Later" Dancer. These are some of the most entertaining people to watch because it usually takes about 4 1/2 drinks of alcohol to get to this point. Usually the LAMBDs are surprisingly skilled at placing themselves within viewing distance of every man in the room. Unfortunately, that might be the only thing they are skilled at. The level of alcohol in the LAMBDs system generally forces their eyes to roll back in their heads while the rest of their body parts perform some sort of tribal mating call which looks alarmingly similar to a vomiting kangaroo or an epileptic water moccasin. Soooo entertaining.

3. The "I'm So Drunk I'm Accidentally Dancing Really Well" Dancer. These dancers are almost always couple dancers. In some rare instances, when a certain level of intoxication is reached, a man and woman will magically collide on the dance floor and you all of a sudden feel like you are watching a Cirque Du Soleil performance. The alcohol forces their inhibitions to depart from their extremities and the result is quite magical. I got to see such a couple on Saturday night. I was watching another typical guy and girl drunken dance routine when all of a sudden he hoisted her in the air like a figure skater and then performed three to five fluid motions of twirling her around, dipping her toward the ground, and then magically bringing her to her feet again. It was terrifying slash awesome. For a moment, I thought he might drop her, so I started to get up from my chair in case CPR needed to be performed but in the end the only necessary response from myself was a heart-felt round of applause. I would soooo vote for them on So You Think You Can Dance.

And, for your viewing pleasure, here's a guy who can really groove. He reminds me a lot of Jed. Dear, sweet, suavalicious Jed. Enjoy!